Anyeong 2020

Akram is now 1 year and 8 months

Assalamualaikum.

It sure has been a long while. Since I'm kinda having a free time right now, I'll just write here.
It's a new year. My last post was also about welcoming a new year. 2019 was a year of uncertainties. But alhamdulillah everything has passed

• Got my first job in 2019. Alhamdulillah, target achieved.
• Graduated with Master's Degree! The convo was in April.
• Attended interviews to work in government sector. Got calon simpanan for one, and alhamdulillah succeeded for another.
• Handed in resignation letter for my first job to wait for the offer. Meanwhile, applied to work at other places too (because... we need salary, right?..)
• Got another job. Alhamdulillah. But just recently I got the result for government teacher position. So, I have handed in resignation letter again ;;

Herher. Weird phase, right? Keep switching jobs. I find it awkward too, to keep getting to know new people, to adapt to new places. But well, I think the experience will be priceless.

For my personal life,

• Moved into my parents' house again. Lol.
• Got pregnant again! 7 months earlier than planned but sokay, still excited.
• Didn't manage to do aqiqah for Akram last year, but alhamdulillah managed to do it this month because there's a flash sale. So alhamdulillah, it has been achieved :)

Angah (Akram's adik) has just turned 7 months. The biweekly check-up has just started, the baby movement monitoring has also started. Can't believe I'm at this phase already. Time passes by so fast.

But it feels slow when I'm working. Kehkeh.

For 2020, since it's still January and I still don't know where I will be posted, the future is still blurry. I have some plans with my husband but don't know if we can carry them out. Oh well. Just follow the flow.

Growing up, I do feel awkward that I can't see the future. When I was in school, I always know what to expect, since our timeline is uniformed under the same education system, but as soon as degree finished, everyone has their own path and pace. It was a struggle to keep adapting and accepting things that happened in my own life because it wasn't the same as other people's lol. But as time passes - and I think having a calm husband helps too - I can just follow the flow. So now I don't feel as panicked as I was before. Haha.

I guess I have nothing more to share.

May Allah ease everything for us, this year too.
May Allah bless.

See you when I see you, bloggie.

25 going on 26

Akram and I at the beginning of 2019

One of the dilemmas of the end-of-year borns is stating their current age. Should I put my age according to the current year or according to my birthdate? Haha. Hence, the title. That's my age for 2019.

Before I got married, I usually join the around-the-same-age group. However, things changed last year. I started participated in conference, so I met people of various age, mostly older than I am. I also joined fb groups for mothers and being married early, naturally, I met many new older people. I also started to be interested in listening to stories of people with more life experience. It's just... interesting. 

Early this year & month, there's this 10-year challenge and it made me go back to my 2009 memories. I was 16. So young and naive, enjoying my life with friends while trying hard to hide my feeling from my crush, tried many new things, doing my best in all activities I participated. I could say form 4 was my gloriest year during my secondary life.

How about in 2019?

Well, it has just begun, and I think I'm getting positive feelings this year. I know I will be tested more, but I have a feeling I can handle it much better than before. 

I must say that this positive vibe is gained through my encounters with positive older and wiser people, and my husband (boy, my husband has matured a lot since 10 years ago!). Their determination had given me strength to not give up easily and always do my best in any given situation. 

The 10-year challenge reminded me of the cheerful, adventurous, enthusiastic and active girl I was. And I'm aiming to be that kind of woman this year onwards. Rise after fall.  Keep rising. Keep going. Keep moving.

Things will be alright.
Because Allah is always with me :)

What matters is that I do my part well to achieve my dreams.

Anywaysss, my life progress:

• still pursuing master's. Still praying for the best result. It was quite a challenge to study with a baby, but I'm very grateful I can finish my project report & pass statistics subject! Both were truly challenging.
•  still loving every day being with my baby, Akram. He can now stands up while holding on to things or people. He's also making more sounds. Current favourite book: Freddie the Fire Engine. 
• still learning and improving to be a better wife. Still getting to know my husband. Still in love. 
• oh yes, since I kinda have a free time right now, I'm starting to tidying up our room. Adopting konmari method anywhere it fits. 
•  still doing proofreading and taking a bit translating (malay to english). Gotta finish them early.
• still learning and improving to be a better daughter for my parents...
•  has started to apply for jobs. Hoping for the best! 

Ok. Daz all. InsyaAllah I'll make 2019 a meaningful year for myself. This year, I will be more respobsible towards myself, so I can take care of others well too.

Alhamdulillah for everything that has happened in the past. 

Alhamdulillah for all the blessings.

May Allah guide us to the right path, always.

Time is long

Since I left school, I had always felt that time passed quickly. Suddenly, foundation year ended. Suddenly, degree ended. Then it felt much quicker once degree ended. Suddenly, many of my friends are married and expecting. Suddenly I'm married.

Then I got pregnant. Time began to pass much slower.
I was very conscious and concerned on every development I was going through.
"the baby is three months." "the baby is four months" "the baby is five months" etc
Time felt so long, maybe because I was longing to see the baby. Plus I focused much more on the present. I felt like I didn't want to lose any second.
Then it's time for delivery!
Akram was born. Then time passes much more slower.
There's new development in Akram every day/week. So it's exciting to see what he can do.
I'm still conscious and concerned on what's happening every day.
Still don't want to lose any moment of this.
Still enjoying the present.

Some friends & family members said "kejap je dah 9 bulan," "kejap je dah lahir"
But I didn't feel it was kejap. I waited long. I enjoyed and suffered (lol)  it long enough.

Akram's now 2 months, and still, some said "kejap je dah 2 bulan"
And I still don't feel it's kejap. It feels long.
And I truly enjoyed every moment of it.
(and also suffered long during pantang lol).


I don't know how can I feel this way. Maybe it's because I'm taking a break from study. I mostly stay home.. Doing the usual things (chores and nothing). I don't know..

But one thing for sure,
I feel happy.
Happy and contented.
I am happy I can enjoy every moment.
I am happy I can appreciate the present.
I am happy I'm starting to notice many blessings around me, and can get to see more bright sides of life.
I am happy I'm feeling more positive.

I am truly happy.

Alhamdulillah for this chance.
I hope even when I start studying again,
Even when I get more busy with life,
I can still focus more on the present, be appreciative and positive always.

Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.