Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Thank you PTPTN. Bu-bye~


A few days ago, my dad came into my room and passed me this letter. This letter confirms that I'm no longer tied to PTPTN, as my study loan had been switched to a scholarship due to graduating with a good pointer. Alhamdulillah :)

I'm debt-free. Yeay.

I still remember that before I started my degree, I was trying so hard to get scholarship. I thought that by taking the education course, KPM would offer scholarships. Unfortunately, starting from my 1-year seniors' batch, they stopped. What makes it worse is that NO scholarship was offered for education course. NONE. And I only found this out during my 1st year of degree. I was quite in disbelief plus dissatisfied because I believe that teachers in training should be given scholarship more. I mean, we're helping to shape the future kot.

Ok, enough complaining. Back to main story.

So, in the end, I decided to apply for PTPTN although I was veeery nervous at first. Because numerous people have said negative things about it. But I've also heard that a good pointer may reduce the paying-back of the loan. Considering my pointer during foundation is quite ok, I was hoping I would get some discount for my loan. So, my aim was to get into dean's list.
Then, there was this one time where I met a doctor for a check up. The doctor was asking what course am I applying for, and if I got any scholarship. I answered and told him I'm considering to take loans if I did not get scholarship.

"That's why I want to study hard and get a great pointer. Maybe 3.7 and above," I said.
"Eh, don't just settle to that. Aim for 4 flat lah!" The doctor replied.
"But I think that's impossible," My turn to reply.
"Don't worry. I know you can do it. Just aim for 4 flat, and study hard. We got to aim for the best, you know," the doctor convinced.

His words somehow motivated me.
Yep, gotta aim for the best.

Baguslah doctor tu. No wonder he's a doctor. May Allah bless you.
Anyway, the dialogue above was not exactly like that because it was 4 years ago lor. But the point was there.

So, during my second sem of my degree, I applied for PTPTN. I did not get the full loan, though, but I was grateful because less loan means less debt. Alhamdulillah. My pointer during my 1st semester was also good, so I'm more convinced that I would get discount.

Somewhere in the middle of degree (can't remember when), i was discussing with my friends about PTPTN when someone said that those graduating with first class will not have to pay the loan back. Later I reread the PTPTN's policy on it's website and it was true! The loan will be like a scholarship if the student graduate with first class. That was new.

That motivated me to study and work harder to get a first class. Because I want a loan to lessen my dad's burden, but I also don't want to have debts.

Alhamdulillah, with prayers from my parents and others around me, and most importantly, Allah's will, it worked. Although I did not get 4 flat, the pointer was still great.

Graduated with first class, applied for confirmation letter from the UTM academic office, sent the letter and other required documents to PTPTN's office, and in less than a month, I received this letter.

Thank you PTPTN. Thank you to the people whose money is in PTPTN. Huhu. Thank you to the people who were asked lotsss about PTPTN (my siblings, cousins, friends, etc). Thank you to abah and mama. Thank you doctor (if I aimed lower, i may still have debt now). Thank you postman. Thank you everyone.

Thank you Allah.

Now I have to do well in master's.
Need to get scholarship,
At least do well so that the time, money, energy and etc invested for my study is spent well.

Monday, January 2, 2017

2016: Obvious Blessings


Since the previous post I've written before was about blessings in disguise, I'd like to start 2017 with an appreciation post for 2016.

So what happened in 2016?

A lot did, actually. I need to look at my albums to recall them. lol.
but let me just list some, briefly.

1) Programmes and Trainings
- ISUTM Diner, AGM
- Bengkel Murabbi

 2) UTM-SIT Buddies for February 2016

3) Successfully finished my degree
- Completed FYP with sweat, tears and money and drools
- Graduated with first class (alhamdulilllaaaah)

4) Joined marathons
5) Penang Trip!
6) Started master's
7) Became more humane
8) Part time jobs - Tuition teacher, private tutor, proofreader, translator
9) I still have and love my family
10) I still have and love my circlessss of friends

Alhamdulillah for everything.

What's going to happen in 2017?

1) Safiah is getting married! I'm getting another brother-in-law. Oh, today is his birthday, by the way.
2) Still doing masters with part time jobs
3) Kelantan Trip, insyaAllah.
4) change in status, perhaps?
5) and only Allah knows the rest :)

Now I shall end this post with some photos in 2016.

Discovered a new lepak place. This was with Kak Nadiah Yusof, at Taman Merdeka.
That's a musical fountain. Operates at 9-11pm. Idk which day because sometimes it's there, sometimes it isn't lol.

Muzakarah Siswi during PERNAIS'16
We had a sharing session with Ketua Wanita IKRAM.

Went to Balai Cerap with our new Japanese friends during the UTM-SIT Buddy programme

I can't remember if this is before or after we went to Bazar Karat. but one thing for sure, everyone was super tired and sleepy at this time. haha.

My buddy and I. His name is Takahashi Takumi. 3 years younger than me.

Bedah buku with team Penulisan :)

Joined Walk4Humanity, organised by Rose2Rose and MyCare.
My first 5KM run, I guess?

My classmates, during a presentation for Language Testing and Evaluation subject.
Our final semester together.

A random trip to Mersing with these lovelies.
Two days before:
"Aliya, jom gi pantai"
"Jom! Kita gi lusa"

Faculty of Education Dinner. The only senior TESLians there. haha.

When I just submitted my FYP. Had to meet my friends because I was too happy.


Penang trip! Somewhere in the streets in Georgetown.
This guy from London was selling goods that he owns that he believes are valuable to be shared with others. I bought one collection of classical plays.

At Fort Cornwallis. Oh, these two were my roommates back in my Foundation days in Lendu.

At Penang Hill. I love Penang Hill because the air was soooo coooool~

Food hunting with Kak Izyana. Korean food!

The TESLians who further study. This was after one of our classes.
It was almost dark.

Of course, my graduation photo. Hiks.

Aaand the last one. This was durng Safiah's engagement, a day after my birthday.
Awkard pointing because ... never mind.

There are actually many more interesting photos to be shared, but I have already shared plenty on Instagram and Facebook. Lol.

Look, these are all obvious blessings. I should ponder these blessing more and get myself more motivated to keep living my life fully. Allah has (and still) grant me lots. Alhamdulillah for everything.

Dear self,
don't worry too much.
Allah has destined the best life for you.

Just do your best as long as you can,
and leave the rest to Allah.

For 2017,
let's be more humane.
let's love more.
let's smile more.
let's remember Him more.

wassalam :)

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Blessings in Disguise

Salam and hi.

Brief life update: I've graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in TESL. Alhamdulillah, with Allah's will, i made it through all 8 semesters including the terrifying FYP (it's only terrifying because I did it in the last minute). So now, after having 2 months of break, I'm studying again. Currently pursuing Masters in TESL in the same uni.

Huh I gotta make this quick because I hve usrah after this.

Ok here goes.

These few weeks since last month, a lot of things had been happening, and some things are still happening right now. I was so stressed, I felt so suffocated, I felt like I want to give up and quit everything.

I talked with a few people about my problems and what I felt, but it doesn't help much because it's my problem and I still need to solve it myself.

So this week, i found the proverb "blessings in disguise" while doing last minute tutoring for my SPM student. Then it hits me that all of these are blessings in disguise.

Allah is testing me. He's teaching me to be stronger, to be more positive. This is tarbiyyah. If I can't handle these things now, how can I handle bigger issues in the future? Adui.

So I prayed more, read Qur'an more but it still feels like all of these are a lot to take in... But i kept the prayers and quran reading going because it's my bekalan.. (oh, i also read other books to help myself, like Bekalan di Sepanjang Jalan Dakwah perghh serius best)

And finally, today..
I prayed zuhr in the utm mosque (MSI). I tried my best to focus on Allah and only Him. After the prayers, i felt like doing more sunnat prayers. And so I did. With a big hope that I could be a better being, a better muslimah, a better daughter, a better student, everything. Feeling so little and helpless in front of him.

After I was done, I got up and step out of the mosque, while praying in the heart that Allah would enlighten me with my studies today. I have 2 discussions to go to.

As I walked towards the library, I saw a lady walking and she's smiling at me. I didn't know her, but it made me happy. I smiled back at her and thought this is Allah's way to make me happy.

But then i thought naaah, who am I to deserve that from Him. It's not unusual to have a stranger to smile at you.

Then another lady walked by, and she too, was smiling at me. Wow, this is rare. Two strangers smiling at me when we were walking. This is really Allah's way of making me happy.

Thank you Allah. Kesian sgt kot aku nangis tadi. Haha.

Then I went for the discussions. One after another. And Alhamdulillah, things went well. I felt enlightened on what to do. Things felt better. I don't feel lost anymore.

Now I feel I can carry on. One thing had been handled. I just need to handle the rest with my best too while keep praying to Allah.

Things are still hard,
But it felt better.

Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.

Oh, throughout these past months, there are also several things that made me happy and delighted. I should write about them kan. To reflect on the blessings not in disguise that Allah has given. Hehe. And to make me feel more grateful :)

But maybe later. Gotta rush now. Till then.